{"id":26682,"date":"2023-01-12T09:09:12","date_gmt":"2023-01-12T16:09:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/?p=26682"},"modified":"2024-02-27T10:17:32","modified_gmt":"2024-02-27T17:17:32","slug":"attention-seeking-behavior","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/mental-health\/attention-seeking-behavior\/","title":{"rendered":"Attention-Seeking Behavior: Why Your Teen Wants Attention\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>While attention-seeking behavior is not bad in and of itself, if it\u2019s negatively affecting your teen or the people around them, it\u2019s time to investigate what\u2019s behind their need for attention. They may need extra support from you or to work with a mental health professional.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To better understand attention-seeking behavior from a family and trauma perspective, we spoke with James Nippert, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the primary adolescent boys\u2019 therapist at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/locations\/deschutes-wilderness-therapy\/\">Deschutes Wilderness Therapy<\/a> in Bend, Oregon.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-yoast-seo-table-of-contents yoast-table-of-contents\"><h2>Table of contents<\/h2><ul><li><a href=\"#h-what-is-attention-seeking-behavior\" data-level=\"2\">What Is Attention-Seeking Behavior?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-teenage-attention-seeking-symptoms\" data-level=\"2\">Teenage Attention-Seeking Symptoms<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-the-psychological-causes-of-attention-seeking-behavior\" data-level=\"2\">The Psychological Causes of Attention-Seeking Behavior<\/a><ul><li><a href=\"#h-noteworthy-causes\" data-level=\"3\">Noteworthy causes<\/a><ul><li><a href=\"#h-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd\" data-level=\"4\">Borderline personality disorder (BPD)<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd\" data-level=\"4\">Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-histrionic-personality-disorder-hpd\" data-level=\"4\">Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-adhd\" data-level=\"4\">ADHD<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-other-possible-causes\" data-level=\"3\">Other possible causes<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-when-is-attention-seeking-behavior-a-cry-for-help\" data-level=\"2\">When Is Attention-Seeking Behavior a Cry for Help?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-how-to-help-stop-attention-seeking-behavior-in-teens\" data-level=\"2\">How To Help Stop Attention-Seeking Behavior in Teens<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-attention-seeking-behavior-wrapup\" data-level=\"2\">Attention-Seeking Behavior Wrapup<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-attention-seeking-behavior\">What Is Attention-Seeking Behavior?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>So, what is attention-seeking behavior? <strong>It&#8217;s the way a person acts when they&#8217;re trying to get their needs met, according to Nippert. Behavior is often labeled as attention seeking when it doesn\u2019t end up truly helping the person or leads to unhealthy results or consequences.<\/strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What makes someone an attention seeker? When it comes to teens, at first, it may seem like they want to frustrate the people around them, but when further investigated, it becomes clear they may be in some type of emotional distress and aren\u2019t sure how to solve the issue or comfort themselves. As a result, they try to bring others to their level of distress because, according to Nippert, it\u2019s soothing to have other people distressed at the same time. Many times, they seek attention in ineffective or inappropriate ways to soothe their own discomfort, such as:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Fishing for compliments.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Seeking sympathy from others.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Acting as though they\u2019re unable to do something so someone can help them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-teenage-attention-seeking-symptoms\">Teenage Attention-Seeking Symptoms<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Signs of attention-seeking behavior<strong> <\/strong>can be quiet and subtle, but they can also be loud and intentional.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Examples of attention-seeking behavior in teens are listed below.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Posting too much on social media.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Bragging.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Catastrophizing (e.g., \u201cIf I fail this test, I\u2019ll never pass school and will be a total failure in life.\u201d).&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Behaving promiscuously.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Having to be the center of attention.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Seeking validation and reassurance.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Exaggerating.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Lying for attention.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Looking for sympathy.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Sadfishing (e.g., posting a photo of themselves crying on social media for attention or sympathy).&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Behaving jealously.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Making <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/out-of-control-teens\/\">impulsive decisions<\/a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Distorting their self-image (e.g., thinking less of themselves or that they\u2019re less than others).&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Seeking instant gratification.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Acting out for attention.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-psychological-causes-of-attention-seeking-behavior\">The Psychological Causes of Attention-Seeking Behavior<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Regarding the psychology of attention seekers, they\u2019re unable to self-soothe and tolerate <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/stress-vs-distress-how-do-you-help-your-teen-navigate-a-stressful-world\/\">distress<\/a>, according to Nippert. They also have a lack of resilience and a deep sense of aloneness that may cause them to seek attention in ways that show they\u2019re not OK and can\u2019t handle the situation they\u2019re in. The person wants to know they can move through an emotion, come out the other side, and still be OK, but since they may not know how to do so, they\u2019ll rely on others to help them.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, an attention seeker may even have a mental health disorder or personality disorder.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-noteworthy-causes\">Noteworthy causes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Noteworthy causes of attention-seeking behaviors include personality disorders and attention-deficit\/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd\">Borderline personality disorder (BPD)<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Wanting attention can be a symptom of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/borderline-personality-disorder-in-teens\/\">BPD<\/a>. This disorder can affect a person\u2019s mood and how they see themselves. Oftentimes, a person who has this mental illness can appear dramatic or disruptive to others, which can come across as wanting attention. In addition, BPD affects a person\u2019s relationships and can increase their impulsivity.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd\">Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>For those with narcissistic personality disorder, attention craving can come from their lack of empathy or need for admiration. There are two categories of narcissism, including grandiose narcissism, which is characterized by high self-esteem and attention-seeking behavior.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-histrionic-personality-disorder-hpd\">Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>HPD is characterized as having unstable emotions and excessive attention-seeking behavior. Those with this disorder are attention seekers who find it hard to have self-worth and seek the approval of others. As a result, they\u2019re attention craving and will act dramatically or behave inappropriately so other people notice them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-adhd\">ADHD<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s a relationship between ADHD and attention seeking, as attention-seeking behavior is a symptom of the disorder. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/adhd-in-teens\/\">Teens with ADHD<\/a> tend to act out more and be more impulsive and hyperactive. Attention seeking is an expression of what\u2019s going on inside of them. It can be their way of telling others they need help settling down or that they can\u2019t settle themselves down.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-other-possible-causes\">Other possible causes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Other possible causes for attention-seeking behavior include:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/understanding-identifying-and-treating-bipolar-disorder-in-teens\/\">Bipolar disorder<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/oppositional-defiant-disorder-in-teens\/\">Oppositional defiant disorder<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Intermittent explosive disorder.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Depression.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Anxiety.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Other mental health issues.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-when-is-attention-seeking-behavior-a-cry-for-help\">When Is Attention-Seeking Behavior a Cry for Help?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>How do you know if the way your teen is behaving is a cry for help or attention-seeking behavior that\u2019s considered normal? <strong>If the behavior is becoming negative, then it\u2019s safe to assume that a further investigation into what\u2019s going on is needed,<\/strong><strong> as your teen could need help. In addition to watching how your teen acts, keep an eye out for negative emotions such as jealousy and low self-esteem, which can indicate your child needs some extra support.<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-help-stop-attention-seeking-behavior-in-teens\">How To Help Stop Attention-Seeking Behavior in Teens<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If your teen is trying to get people to notice them in ways you find concerning, such as being promiscuous, you can help them stop this behavior.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"1\">\n<li><strong>Build your teen\u2019s confidence with self-esteem activities.<\/strong> Building your teen\u2019s confidence with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/self-esteem-activities-for-teens\/\">self-esteem activities<\/a> is a great approach to helping them work through attention-seeking behavior in a positive way. Having a safe, secure, and loving relationship with your teen is an important way to help develop their self-esteem. You can also help them set healthy and positive <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/mental-health-goals\/\">goals<\/a>, get them a gratitude journal to write out their thoughts and emotions, or help them find a hobby they enjoy. Nippert did note that while self-esteem activities can help with your teen\u2019s confidence, it\u2019s important to look deeper into what&#8217;s distressing them and help try to resolve it.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li><strong>Talk to and listen to your teen.<\/strong> Taking the time to talk to and listen to your teen will help you understand why they\u2019re feeling the emotions they have. The best way to listen is to give them your full, undivided attention. In addition, Nippert suggested that you also dive deeper into your teen\u2019s emotions with them.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"3\">\n<li><strong>Teach your teen to be mindful.<\/strong> To teach your teen to be mindful, Nippert suggested you look within yourself to see if you\u2019re modeling that practice by going into and feeling your own emotions. Breathing exercises are a great way to do that. Nippert also advised that you show your teen that feeling their emotions is safe and to go into their emotions with them.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"4\">\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t positively reinforce attention-seeking behavior.<\/strong> If your teen displays negative attention-seeking behavior, and your response is focused on getting them to stop acting out, you\u2019re positively reinforcing that behavior. When that happens, teenagers can think it\u2019s OK to act in certain ways to get their needs met. Instead, Nippert advised you focus on having a safe, close, and empathetic relationship with your child so you can understand why they may feel the need to act a certain way or feel an emotion.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"5\">\n<li><strong>Moderate and set boundaries on your teen\u2019s social media use.<\/strong> Social media can be a convenient, easily accessed place for your teen to seek out negative attention. Setting boundaries on its use, such as limiting screen time or having days without using it at all, can be a great way to encourage your teen to evaluate their social media habits and following.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"6\">\n<li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/therapy\/ask-a-therapist-how-do-i-find-a-good-therapist-for-my-teenager\/\">Find a therapist<\/a> who can treat your teen\u2019s attention-seeking behavior.<\/strong> Nippert advised that you try family therapy to treat your teen&#8217;s attention-seeking behavior. This approach can be helpful because craving attention is relational in nature: Your child is acting a certain way to connect with you. The whole family should be involved in your teen\u2019s healing process.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-attention-seeking-behavior-wrapup\">Attention-Seeking Behavior Wrapup<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you notice attention-seeking behavior in your teen that\u2019s having a negative impact on them and the people around them, the first step to helping them stop this behavior is understanding why they want attention. You may need to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/ask-a-therapist-how-do-i-find-a-good-therapist-for-my-teenager\/\">find a therapist<\/a> to help you dig deep into the reasons so your child has the right tools to overcome the issues they\u2019re facing.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Connecting with your teen on a relational and emotional level is also important when it comes to addressing attention-seeking behavior.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThe number one thing that we can do is show our teens that it\u2019s OK to be in our emotions by handling our own emotions,\u201d Nippert said. \u201cParents best teach kids how to be healthy by working to be healthy for their kids.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Embark is the most trusted name in teen and young adult mental health treatment. We\u2019re driven to find the help your family needs. If you\u2019re looking for support,\u202f<\/em><\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/contact-us\/\"><strong><em>contact us today<\/em><\/strong><\/a><strong><em>!<\/em><\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Find out what attention-seeking behavior is, including its symptoms and psychological causes, as well as how you can help stop it in teens.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":26683,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[952],"tags":[253,626,1684,1685,1751,1752,206],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v21.1 (Yoast SEO v22.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Attention-Seeking Behavior: Why Your Teen Craves Attention<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Find out what attention-seeking behavior is, including its symptoms and psychological causes, as well 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Dedicated to its big mission of reversing the trends of teen and young adult anxiety, depression, and suicide by 2028, Embark offers a robust continuum of care with different levels of service and programming; has a deep legacy of over 25 years serving youths; works with families to adjust treatment in real time to improve results; treats the entire family using an evidence-supported approach; and offers the highest levels of quality care and safety standards. For more information about Embark or its treatment programs, including virtual services, intensive outpatient programs (IOPs), therapeutic day treatment programs, also known as partial hospitalization programs (PHPs), residential treatment, and outdoor therapy, visit embarkbh.com.","sameAs":["wGyUcjFZZN"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26682"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/27"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26682"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35852,"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26682\/revisions\/35852"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}