{"id":20338,"date":"2021-09-14T14:12:45","date_gmt":"2021-09-14T21:12:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/?p=20338"},"modified":"2024-02-27T11:41:25","modified_gmt":"2024-02-27T18:41:25","slug":"mental-health-care-tips-for-dads-with-teens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/parenting\/mental-health-care-tips-for-dads-with-teens\/","title":{"rendered":"Mental Health Care Tips for Dads With Teens"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When things seem to come unraveled, and your teen needs mental health care, it\u2019s hard to know what to do and how to seek help. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parenting a child who struggles with mental health can elicit a range of emotions, some of which can lead to counterproductive outcomes. When you feel out of control, helpless, and uncertain about your child\u2019s future, that often comes out as anger and shame. This is exacerbated when your best efforts only seem to make things worse you may double down on trying to control what feels out of control or you may feel the need to disengage altogether.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a father, you want to be part of your child\u2019s well-being\u2013 and you are. Here are a few ways you can effectively support your teen as they encounter mental health challenges: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Staying Involved and Engaged in Your Child\u2019s Life is Crucial <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Even when stress levels are high, or it seems like your teen is pushing you away, spending time with your teen is needed now as much as ever. You play a critical role in their healing process. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can dads participate in their teen\u2019s mental health care? <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We asked Josh Nordean, LPC, about what dads need to know about their role in their teen\u2019s good mental health. Nordean is the clinical director of Embark Behavioral Health\u2019s The Forge School<\/a>, a short-term residential treatment program and school for adolescent boys.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat teens need from dads is engagement<\/a> [\u2026] In their developmental process, teens are pushing away from childhood and becoming more independent. Mom represents childhood, so kids will push away from Mom. They need dad to step in and be an active parent \u2013 an engaged parent.<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd that can be tough if a dad\u2019s been less active in early childhood because they have to figure out \u2018how do I talk to this person? And how do I learn how to be in a relationship with them?\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What mental health therapy should look like with your teen <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A good therapy program incorporates family members, as well as individual and group therapy.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With teens, a big part of therapy is experiential. That means it\u2019s easier for teens to process their experiences and build their confidence through doing things<\/em> like art, physical activity like hiking, fishing, music, working with animals, etc. They can\u2019t just be told loved ones support them. They must feel it, experience it.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A teen\u2019s prefrontal cortex isn\u2019t completely developed yet<\/a>, so sometimes it\u2019s hard for them to express themselves via words, but just like young children process their experiences through play, teens process their experiences through what they do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, when health professionals and therapists ask dads to be involved in treatment, it doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re sitting in an office together and staring at each other.  The mental health professional should give you and your teen activities, like fishing, hiking, playing a game, etc. These activities build bonds and give you opportunities to interact naturally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Families are systems <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Family Systems Theory works on the idea that everyone in the family is connected. When one part of the family is under stress, that pressure shows up in other members of the family, too. And different people release some of that stress in different ways.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your teen\u2019s therapist should work with your whole family, so when your teen starts healing, the entire family knows how to support them and also how to deal with the other ways family stress might show up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When dads disengage or don\u2019t participate in mental health care, the root issues in the family system can\u2019t<\/a> be addressed. Teens might interpret this lack of participation as an indication that they\u2019re broken or not worth the effort.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf dads aren\u2019t engaged,\u201d Nordean says, \u201cthen kids feel that. Kids are like little aliens with thousands of antennae that are picking up information from people all the time […] and they pick up on it pretty quickly. It\u2019s discouraging.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dads should be in therapy and seek professional help, too <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nordean shares three compelling reasons why dads need to be in therapy, too: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Your individual therapy is a safe place to explore your thoughts and feelings about what\u2019s going on <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you have a teen who needs mental health care, you have emotions to work through, too. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDads often feel like it\u2019s a failure on their part,\u201d Nordean explained. \u201cI had a conversation with a dad last week who said, \u2018When my kid struggles, I take that as I failed as a parent, and I don\u2019t like that feeling, so I\u2019m going to fight against that, and it creates this kind of contention.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understanding your feelings means you can approach your family therapy more aware of these feelings, and what they mean so those sessions can be more effective. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dads need to understand that it\u2019s not their fault. <\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen their kids need therapy, it doesn\u2019t mean dads are failures. It means their kids are human,\u201d Nordean adds. \u201cIf we can accept our kid\u2019s struggle and also share that with them \u2013 and share our own struggle \u2013 then we\u2019re going to have a lot better chance of connecting and getting through this difficult time together.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Individual therapy gives dads the opportunity to grieve their \u201cideal child\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a baby is on the way, or a couple adopts, it\u2019s natural for new dads to imagine what their child will be like in the future. But the child you get may not match that ideal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you want to play catch and that\u2019s the thing you really looked forward to, and your kid wants to play Legos and Minecraft because they can\u2019t throw a ball very well,\u201d Nordean says, \u201cthen that can be kind of heartbreaking for dads. So, they need to be able to let go of their expectations and just see their kid for who they are. That can be a process.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of accepting the child you have in front of you is grieving the ideal child you had in your mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dads don\u2019t envision a teenager dealing with mental health conditions, addiction, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, or learning disabilities. To help that<\/em> child, you need to see them for who they are and believe that they are doing their best to feel safe and okay in the world that they live in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. When you\u2019re in therapy, you remove the stigma surrounding mental health treatment for your teen <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your teen sees you working on your mental health, then it doesn\u2019t feel as shameful when they need to work on theirs. It normalizes therapy and focuses on the fact that we all have issues we need to address. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone needs mental health support sometimes. Your teen needs it now, and you’re showing them that it\u2019s a good thing. We can teach our kids how to care for their health and build healthy relationships by how we care for ours. If it\u2019s a bad knee or high cholesterol, we don\u2019t hesitate to get treatment. Mental health is no different. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What can get in the way of the healing process? <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Nordean pointed out a few things that often get in the way for dads and teens as they work through the therapy process: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t try to fix things <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When their kids are hurting, parents want to fix it. Without falling into stereotypes, it does seem a more common response for dads to respond to an issue by offering solutions.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe work on that a lot, on not being \u2018the fixer,\u2019\u201d Nordean said. \u201cAllowing their kid to express emotion so they have an experience of feeling heard, understood, and felt, that can be uncomfortable for dads.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Work on your parenting relationship <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether you\u2019re partnered or married to your teen\u2019s mother, or if you are divorced and not together, you need to be focused on what\u2019s best for your teen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf parents are divorced or are in a contentious relationship with their ex, and they’re not willing to work on that, then the hope is pretty dismal that their kid will be able to do the work,\u201d Nordean said. \u201cSo, work on your individual issues first, the parenting relationship second, and then<\/em> focus on your kid.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This may seem backward, but these relationships within healthy families lay a strong foundation for your teen. They provide the environment where real healing happens for children\u2019s mental health.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rewarding Mental Health Care for You and Your Teen <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As a dad, you have a significant role in helping your teen heal when they have a mental illness and\/or are in need of mental health care, but you may not know where to go or what to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prioritize your relationships: with yourself, your spouse or parenting partner, and your teen. Some of this may be new territory for you or particularly challenging \u2013  but this prioritization is crucial for real healing to happen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re willing to work on your own mental health and relationships and engage in family therapy with your teen, you\u2019re helping everyone lay a foundation for a more solid future. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your teen and family need extra support with a mental health condition or general well-being, find programs that strengthen those relationships because that\u2019s how sustainable healing happens. It\u2019s an investment that will pay dividends over the long term! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When things seem to come unraveled, and your teen needs mental health care, it\u2019s hard to know what to do and how to seek help.  Parenting a child who struggles with mental health can elicit a range of emotions, some of which can lead to counterproductive outcomes. When you feel out of control, helpless, and uncertain about your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":20340,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[968],"tags":[128,1740,1742,1743],"yoast_head":"\nMental Health Care Tips for Dads With Teens - Embark Behavioral Health<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn a few ways that dads with teens can effectively support them as they encounter mental health challenges.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/parenting\/mental-health-care-tips-for-dads-with-teens\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mental Health Care Tips for Dads With Teens\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When things seem to come unraveled, and your teen needs mental health care, it\u2019s hard to know what to do and how to seek help.  Parenting a\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/blog\/parenting\/mental-health-care-tips-for-dads-with-teens\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Embark Behavioral Health\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/embarkbh\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-09-14T21:12:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-02-27T18:41:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.embarkbh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/AdobeStock_250314422-scaled.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1422\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Embark Behavioral Health\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@embarkbh\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@embarkbh\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Embark Behavioral Health\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Mental Health Care Tips for Dads With Teens - 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