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How Can I Gain Confidence in My Appearance?

February 25, 2020

There are so many people and forces in our lives that try to tell you what you should look like. They want you to have a certain frame, a certain body type, the right shaped face, the right color and texture of hair, and so much more. So if you don’t match up how can you feel confidence if your appearance?

The answer is very simple: You should never be ashamed of how you look. You are beautifully unique in your frame, body type, facial shape, color and texture of your hair, and everything about you. Unless you are an identical twin (and really, even then on some level,) there is no one else who looks exactly like you. That in and of itself is worth loving.

Resisting Media Messages

If you look at art history, you will see that outer beauty has changed throughout time. Sometimes, the larger a woman was, the more desirable she was and at other times women shaved their foreheads to make them appear larger, which was the fashion. Sometimes men were supposed to be clean-shaven, at other times they could not have enough facial hair. At one point men were expected to have skinny legs and big chests, other times being hefty was the style. Trends in body type and beauty will come and go, but you will always be you.

Now we live in an age where the trends change lightning fast, and everyone has access to them instantly. There is no possible way that anyone could fit the images being set before us constantly. Or as Heidi Klum is fond of saying, “One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.” Fashion and beauty trends are ridiculously fickle, and the pursuit of measuring up only leads to disappointment. Especially when tomorrow, the rules change all over again. 

People go to extraordinary lengths to try to be someone they are not. How does someone who is 4’11” look tall and long-legged, if that is the trend of the day? Rather than learning to love ourselves for how we are made we chase an impossible ideal that leads to discouragement. And what is the point of spending all your time trying to look like someone else or their current idea of what beauty is, when you can be authentically beautiful every day?

Living Healthy

Too often, fashion and beauty trends make us do very unhealthy things to our bodies. You try to gain or lose too much weight, build muscles you don’t have the frame for, have cosmetic procedures that are dangerous, skin treatments that put you at higher risk for skin cancer, just to name a few. When you listen to other people’s opinions of what you should look like, you create both physical and mental health risks.

When you listen to your body, being true to yourself, you make the best choices for you. Feeling healthy physically helps you to feel healthy mentally, too. When you listen to yourself instead of people outside of you, your body responds. You will have a healthy glow and you can become confident in who you are and in your own unique and healthy beauty. Not all of the cosmetic procedures and products can give you that. You earn that by being true to you.

Ending Body Shaming

One of the greatest crimes against self-esteem that has been made worse with the internet and social media is body shaming. You should never be ashamed of who you are or what you look like. Those who bully and try to shame people for not meeting a randomly chosen aesthetic cause only hard. It’s not okay to bully. If you are ever subjected to body shaming or see anyone else, always report it. In real life let an adult know, and online flag the bullying for abuse. It is never okay to do this.

While the words you hear or read can be very hurtful, especially when others join in, body shaming is different than physical bullying in that body shaming can only hurt you if you allow it to. Words can hurt worse than fists and the wounds last far longer. You have a choice to not allow a shallow opinion harm you, if you invest in knowing who you are and loving yourself, the words can bounce off of you like bullets off of a superhero. You are beautiful and amazing, and when you truly know that for yourself, no one else’s words can hurt you.

Being Confident

Someone who is ‘comfortable in their own skin’ is someone that people will gravitate to. No matter what genetics you inherited, no matter what society says you should be, you can believe in your body and your looks and be confident enough to love yourself. It doesn’t matter what your body looks like when you are okay with it, others will be, too. That is the power of confidence.

You should absolutely never ever be ashamed of how you look. You should celebrate everything you are, and own it, no matter where you go. You are gorgeous, just the way you are. Not someone trying to copy trends or celebrities, you are you. Your beauty is authentic, and there is no one else like you. Love it, work it, own it. You are amazing, and you are one of a kind.

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