Mental Health in Athletes: The Hidden Struggle Behind the Spotlight

Breaking the Silence in Sports

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

Hello, I'm Dr. Sharnell Myles, the Chief Clinical Officer with Embark Behavioral Health, and welcome to the Behind the Smyles podcast.

Today, I am really excited because I'm joined by Ray Weathers of the Phoenix Suns. We’re going to be talking about mental health in sports—a very important topic, and one I feel we don’t talk about enough. Many young kids, young adults, high performers, and aspiring athletes are really struggling with mental health issues.

Ray Weathers:

Yeah, it’s a blessing to be here. Thank you for having me. I'm excited about your work and what you’re doing to give us a platform to talk about things we weren't comfortable discussing as former professional athletes.

The Pressure of Performance

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

Over the past 60 days, I’ve been seeing more commercials and news stories—like one I caught while I was in D.C.—about athletes, especially in the NFL, who are experiencing mental health challenges.

They’re finally starting to speak up and say, “We as high achievers, as performers, as athletes—we need mental health support.” So tell us more about you and why this issue is so important to you.

Ray Weathers:

Every athlete has a different background, but growing up in the African American community, many of us felt like we couldn’t express ourselves. The expectations were high, and sometimes we were just trying to survive or get out of our neighborhood.

There’s so much pressure—not just physically, but mentally. I always say, “If your mind isn’t right, your game won’t be tight.” We need safe spaces where we can be vulnerable so we can perform and still deal with the pressures of everyday life.

What people don’t see is the behind-the-scenes. The media is in your face, but behind closed doors, we’re dealing with real things—personal issues, trauma, mental health struggles. Sometimes, we just don’t want to play because of what we’ve gone through, but we’re expected to show up anyway. And over time, it adds up. That’s when you start hearing the tragic stories of people making one wrong decision that costs them everything.

Inner-City Reality and Early Trauma

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

I’ve been a trauma specialist for over 25 years, much of that in the area of community-based violence. I grew up in South Philadelphia. Someone once asked me if I ever competed, and I laughed—I said, “Compete for what?”

I did one year of gymnastics, but otherwise, I was too busy fighting—literally—to get to school and back home safely. For a lot of us, that kind of environment was the behind-the-scenes.

Can you talk a little about your childhood and how that laid the foundation for the mental health challenges you faced?

Ray Weathers:

I'm from Jackson, Michigan, between Chicago and Detroit. It’s a small town, about 40,000 people, but we had a reputation—lots of drugs and crime, and the biggest walled prison in America.

Growing up, my household was abusive and chaotic. We thought it was normal until we got older and realized it wasn’t. My dad and I are in a good place now, but back then, the abuse created a lot of trauma.

That trauma became a shared experience—our community was full of it. It became normalized. I had to fight to get to school, fight to make a team. That’s just how it was.

The biggest turning point for me was when my brother—just 11 months older than me—was murdered by his best friend. He was only 16. It shattered my world. I didn’t know how to process it. That trauma changed me.

Before he died, I promised him I’d go to college, play pro, get my degree, and make something of myself. I was 15 when I held his hand and made that promise—just before the heart monitor went off. I kept that promise, but the emotional toll was heavy.

The Weight of Expectations

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

Thank you for sharing that. A lot of students are facing so much more than what people see. It’s not just about passing a test—some don’t even have food or safety at home.

People think, “If you can come to school, you should be able to learn.” But that’s not realistic for many kids.

Ray Weathers:

Exactly. I remember living in a shelter for four months in winter—with 20 people and no socks. That’s trauma. I didn’t want to fail at school, but if I got bad grades, my dad threatened to take me out of sports. That created intense anxiety.

We were told not to talk about what happened at home. “If you say anything, I’ll take you out,” my father would say. That stigma—that silence—sticks with you. It creates trust issues with everyone: teachers, friends, anyone.

I didn’t really understand my own emotions until after my sports career. And once you start to succeed, people come out of the woodwork with expectations of their own. If I had access to therapy or a safe space back then, I could’ve been a better version of myself—not just as an athlete, but as a person.

The Need for a Safe Space

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

Let’s talk more about that. What do you think most young athletes are missing—whether it’s someone playing streetball or organized sports like football or lacrosse?

Ray Weathers:

What’s missing is a platform where young athletes feel safe to be vulnerable and ask for help. I call it a safety net. Most of us didn’t even know what mental health was, let alone PTSD or that there were places to get treatment.

Back then, if someone said you needed to see a psychologist, people assumed something was wrong with you. That stigma created fear.

If I’d known there was a space to just say, “This is how I really feel,” and not be judged or penalized, that would’ve changed everything. We need that kind of support system—where young athletes can open up, process their feelings, and have a real plan to move forward.

If you're the leader of your team, people are watching how you lead—emotionally, mentally, physically. If they see a weakness, they might follow that lead. They might not know exactly what you're going through, but they can sense that something’s off. I've been in locker rooms before big games—like Michigan—and my teammates could tell I wasn't myself. I wasn't as talkative. I was quieter.

We always say we’re “good,” but sometimes we’re not. And if you perform poorly, they’ll ask, “What happened?” That’s when you finally open up and say, “I’ve been dealing with something all week.” And they’re like, “Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve rallied around you.”

That locker room space—it's either where you grow or where things fall apart. But too often, we’re taught that talking about emotions makes us soft. That mindset hurts not just the individual but the whole team. We need to break that barrier. I’m retired now, but I still want younger athletes to know it’s okay to speak up. Self-care matters. It's okay to say, “I don't have it today,” and let the team lift you up.

Recruiting, Stigma, and Mental Health

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

Do you think mental health is sometimes used against athletes—maybe by coaches or recruiters—because it’s seen as counterproductive to winning?

Ray Weathers:

Yes and no. When you’re being recruited, especially in high school and college, one of the first questions is always, “Is he mentally tough?” I got asked that when I was being scouted by the Pistons.

Now imagine if I had said, “I'm struggling.” That could’ve cost me my shot. The assumption would be: he’s not tough enough. That stigma is real. But I think we’re starting to shift that narrative. Now, people are beginning to see that if an athlete is going through something and still pushing through, that’s real toughness. There’s a real opportunity in the mental health space to change lives.

Medication and Mental Health in Athletics

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

What about medication? Some diagnoses require both therapy and meds. Do athletes avoid medication because of fear—like a coach finding out about their diagnosis?

Ray Weathers:

Great question. I think there’s a safer space now than there used to be. At the professional level, if medication helps you perform, they want you to take it. Same at the collegiate level—it’s different now than when I played.

Back then, we’d take things the team doctors gave us without asking many questions. We just wanted to perform. That led to issues—like kidney problems from too much ibuprofen.

So now, I believe in being informed. If it’s mental health medication, or anything else, educate me on why I’m taking it. Players today want to perform not just for their teams, but for their families, their kids. So if medication helps with that, it should absolutely be considered.

Making Mental Health Support Accessible for Athletes

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

At Embark, we’ve added a sports component. We want families to know: your kid doesn’t have to be a top performer to get help. How do we support families with athletes who are struggling mentally?

Ray Weathers:

Accessibility. It’s about making sure families know we’re here and we care. I call it “leaving no kid behind.”

The most success I had was when I felt like I was in a family-oriented environment. A place with trust, accountability, and support. That’s where athletes thrive—not just perform.

That’s what Embark is building. If I had access to something like this in high school or college—or even as a pro—I might’ve made $100 million. But my peers didn’t know what I was going through until I shared it publicly.

I didn’t even know what PTSD was. For 30 years, I cried out for help and didn’t get it. What you all offer—guidance, counseling—it’s essential. Not a want, but a need.

Healing the Whole Family

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

So it’s about systems, right? Bringing in the whole family?

Ray Weathers:

Absolutely. What’s the point of my healing if my mother, father, or siblings aren’t healing? I don’t want to fall back into the same cycles.

If I take accountability and grow, and they see that change in me, they’ll want to change too. That’s how it spreads—like a ripple effect. And that’s how you grow a business, too. You become a living example of transformation. You end up smashing the stigma just by being real.

Advice for Young Athletes

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

What would you want young athletes to know?

Ray Weathers:

Don’t let anyone define your success by your bank account. It's about how you feel inside.

I know millionaires who took their lives because they weren’t happy. You can’t take money with you, but you can build meaningful relationships.

Set your goals high, but pursue what makes you feel fulfilled—not just what makes you rich.

Advice for Parents

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

What would you want parents to know? Especially those who might be hesitant to get help for their kids?

Ray Weathers:

It’s okay to make mistakes as a parent. The goal is to help your kids become better than you were.

I’m a father now. I didn’t know my own grandfather, and my dad had his own struggles. But I want my kids to be ten times better than me. That means I have to grow too—and own up to my past mistakes. When we grow together, the whole family wins.

Personal Stories and the Reality of Sports Injuries

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

Let me share something. My late husband played football—from Pop Warner through arena football. He suffered an injury against a barrier that worsened over time. It changed him—his personality, his abilities, even our marriage.

My son played football too, but in one game he got hit hard by a much bigger kid. I wanted to run out on the field. That was his last game.

As a professional, I’ve treated NFL players dealing with concussions and the long-term impact. Some even won Super Bowls, but were left without proper support. I didn’t want that for my son.

We have to think about more than just winning games. It’s about protecting their minds, too.

Thoughts for Parents

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

So what do you tell parents who are scared to let their kids play sports—or scared of what could happen?

Ray Weathers:

It’s part of the process. Every kid wants to go pro or play at a high level, but there are risks—injuries, coaching changes, ups and downs.

But it’s not about the parents—it’s about the kids. Pour into their dreams. Support them. Help them build resilience. Because the truth is, the journey is just as important as the destination.

Managing Expectations and the Importance of Realistic Goals

Ray Weathers:

You want your kids to dream big, but you also have to have realistic goals, right? You don't want to deflate their dreams, but you also want to make sure they're realistic. Encourage them to write those dreams down and support them, but also ask, "Are you willing to pay the price and put in the work to make that happen?" For me, managing this means having realistic expectations and understanding where they’re at in terms of their athleticism, skills, and where they stand right now. But then, let's have a plan—a roadmap—to get there, without micromanaging it to the point where it stops being fun.

It's okay to aspire to be like Serena Williams or the Jackson 5, but at the end of the day, don't lose sight of the joy and fun in the game. As people of color, we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves, thinking that we have to be at a certain level of success. I remember hearing my mother on the phone talking about how she was already planning what we'd get once I made it big, and it was strange to hear that when I was still in high school. It’s about making it about the kid and providing realistic support, but also having a plan in place for what success looks like.

Keeping the Joy in the Game and Changing the Narrative

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

So, it's important to make sure it remains fun and to identify different paths. Many people who want to make it to the professional leagues don't end up there.

Ray Weathers:

Exactly. I also want to change the narrative around what "making it" means. It doesn't just have to be the NBA or the NFL. The game has become global, so if you're making money doing something you love—whether it’s basketball, soccer, or anything else—there are different levels to that. Success doesn’t always depend on how good you are; sometimes it’s just about timing and the process. But whatever level you reach, if you love what you're doing, make sure you're getting compensated fairly. Just don't lose the joy in the process, because that's what makes it truly worth it.

Navigating the Business Side and Financial Literacy

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

Now, let's talk about the business side, particularly the financial aspect. High school athletes are now able to get paid. How does this add an additional level of responsibility, and what impact does it have on their mental health?

Ray Weathers:

That’s a good point. We didn't have the same financial literacy available to us in the past. A lot of kids are now getting paid, but some of them aren't equipped to manage that money. They may spend before they even get the paycheck. It's important to have a game plan—starting with your team, your guardians, and the people involved in the process.

We’ve been in situations where we generate the majority of the revenue for leagues, but when it comes to sharing that wealth, things often don’t seem fair. In high school, I saw how packed our games were, how much money was coming in from ticket sales, yet my team didn’t see any of that money. Meanwhile, coaches and schools were benefiting. It’s crucial to educate yourself before you get to the table. Look at how athletes like LeBron James have educated themselves about money and business. It's not just about getting paid; it’s about understanding how to maximize your value.

The Importance of Mental Health for Athletes

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

This all ties into mental health. We know the tragic stories of young athletes who may have been at the height of their careers but ultimately died by suicide because their mental health was never addressed. We often only see the public persona they put out there.

Ray Weathers:

That’s a very real issue. I’ve been there myself. It’s easy to get lost when things are going well, but when the party ends, and the resources start to fade, you can lose your relationships. That’s when the mental battle begins. It’s easy to mask your feelings, but deep down, you’re struggling. When you get to that point, you feel like you have nothing left to give. The capacity to go on is gone. It’s a scary place to be, especially when you’re alone, and no one is truly pulling for you. You might not even feel safe to reach out for help, and as people of color, we’re often taught not to show weakness, especially as men. But we need to get past that.

The Hidden Struggles Behind the Athlete’s Success

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

That’s such an important point. I think there's so much more to uncover and discuss around sports, mental health, and the challenges athletes face. There's work to be done, and I’m so proud that Embark is expanding into this area. We're working on supporting athletes and helping them create a space for joy and healing.

Ray Weathers:

Absolutely. Sports drive so much of society. Just look at how the entire world came to a halt when the NBA decided to pause during the pandemic. The players have a platform, and that platform gives them power. But with power comes responsibility. It’s time for athletes to get educated, not just about the game but about how to manage their business and mental health.

Moving Forward with Transparency and Support

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

I’m excited for the work we’re doing and for continuing these important conversations.

Ray Weathers:

Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I'll be here, keeping the couch warm for our next conversation.

Dr. Sharnell Myles:

It’s been a much-needed and transparent discussion about sports and mental health. I look forward to our next session.

Ray Weathers:

Thank you.